REASONS TO VOTE FOR ME

I promise no sex scandals. In my life I have had zero sex scandals, I promise to continue this
into my presidency. Over the next 8 years (4 for campaigning, 4 for being president) I promise that no groups of women will ever be successful in coercing me into a scandal.

I can make this promise because I fully intend to exploit the fact that I was president after
my term in office ends.

I can promise you that I will not be the conservative Bill Clinton because lets face it.
He's desirable. I'm far from it. He also has interesting things to say, me not so much.

So remember when you vote for me, you're voting for a guy focused on one thing, getting elected, and not on other stuff.

I know Lisa doesn't like me talking about this stuff, half of it I go too far, and the other
half he is just tired of hearing, but these are important things for us Americans (by the way
I was totally born here, unlike you know who) to know about the man who is gonna be president.