Monday, February 25, 2013

10 Devastating Results of Sequestration Cuts

If the sequestration goes through, that’s 2% cut of the government’s budget. As we all know, the government very efficiently spends all its money, so any cut of that size means absolute devastation.
Here are some things that will result from the sequestration cuts:
* All prisons will be shut down and prisoners released. Even the most violent of criminals.
* Army bases will be closed in Hawaii and the islands will be surrendered to Japan.
* Medicare will be replaced with a hammer given to old people to kill themselves with.
* All zoos will be shut down and zoo animals released. Even the most violent of baboons.
* Our military will be armed with nothing but bayonets.
* All traffic lights will be turned off.
* No more money for cowboy poetry festivals, the only thing keeping cowboys from violence and thus the only thing keeping the wild west from breaking out again.
* Orphanages will be closed and all the orphans’ possessions will be thrown in the river.
* No more postage for strongly-worded letters sent to Iran and North Korea telling them to stop having nuclear weapons.
* Obama will only get five golf outings a month.
It may be possible to find some less devastating ways to make the cuts (which is more a reduction in increase to spending than actual cuts), but to do that would take so much time Obama would only get four golf outings in a month.

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