Already In The Pipeline

You can’t say I didn’t warn you. I told you what we could expect from a second term of Barack Obama, emboldened by Democrats in Congress. It hasn’t taken but a few days for many of these things to already be in the pipeline.
Tax increases
Let’s start with taxes. While the fiscal cliff issue must be resolved, you can rest assured that taxes will absolutely be going up for the evil rich. It’s a drop-dead certainty. I mean, the day after the election we have Harry Reid making this completely mindless statement:

“The president campaigned around the country saying, ‘We know what the problems are with this fiscal problem. We just need some revenue,’” Reid said. “That was the issue. The mandate was look at all the exit polls, look at all the polling, the vast majority of the American people, rich, poor, everybody agrees that the rich — richest of the rich have to help a little bit.”

He’s right … the American people bought this lie, this absurdity, that our fiscal troubles could be solved simply by taxing the rich! We’ve been through that dog-and-pony show before. You could take all of the income of the evil rich, all of the assets (wealth) of the evil millionaires and billionaires and all of the profits from the top Fortune 500 companies and it wouldn’t even be enough to run our government for one stinking year. In fact, the CBO just released some new statistics. Tax revenues collected by the federal government were up in 2012 – they increased! – and that includes a 34% increase in taxes collected from evil corporations. So while tax revenues increased, defense spending decreased. Are you with me? Less money spent on defense and more money coming into the government …. and yet Barack Obama STILL managed to rack up a $1 trillion deficit! That means that we spent $1 trillion more than we took in in revenues. You have to go back to 1946 to find that kind of deficit spending. Simply put: The Democrats are full of Bolshoi when they tell you that our problems are revenue.
A Wealth Tax
I’ve mentioned this before. In fact, I’ve been talking about it for 18 years. When Clinton had full control of the federal government his staffers started work on a plan to levy a tax on the outstanding balances in various retirement plans and pensions, like IRAs and 401K plans. These wealth taxes were set aside when the Republicans took control of the congress. My guess is there coming back. This afternoon Dear Ruler will be talking to his myrmidons about the so-called “fiscal cliff.” He almost certainly will tell us that the wealthy need to pay “their fair share” or “a little more.” He has hammered this theme now for the entirety of his political life. So trust me on this one --- even though you may have stopped earning income. If you’re wealthy, this man is coming after you. Be ready.
The Second Amendment
Just one day after winning re-election, Barack Obama and his administration moved to re-open talks in the United Nations over the global arms treaty. What sort of sovereignty would our Constitution and Bill of Rights enjoy at the hands of international demands for us to register firearms and comply with global gun laws?
Cap-and-Trade
Harry Reid is ready to move on greenhouse gas legislation, otherwise known as cap-and-trade. He says that “Climate change is an extremely important issue for me and I hope we can address it reasonably.” Well isn’t that special? But it isn’t just Harry Reid’s pet project. Clearly we know of the EPA regulations that are now certain to befall this nation and particularly our coal industry. And did you know that the US Treasury has sponsored a major tax study on ways to link the tax code to carbon emissions? Taxes on emissions are a certainty unless Republicans in the House can put up enough of a fight.
Russia’s Flexibility
Russia is already flexing its muscles. Just two days after the election, Russia’s Deputy Prime Minister goes and tells an international conference that he hopes Obama is mindful of his promise to give Russia “flexibility,” particularly on the issue of the US missile defense shield.

REASONS TO VOTE FOR ME

I promise no sex scandals. In my life I have had zero sex scandals, I promise to continue this
into my presidency. Over the next 8 years (4 for campaigning, 4 for being president) I promise that no groups of women will ever be successful in coercing me into a scandal.

I can make this promise because I fully intend to exploit the fact that I was president after
my term in office ends.

I can promise you that I will not be the conservative Bill Clinton because lets face it.
He's desirable. I'm far from it. He also has interesting things to say, me not so much.

So remember when you vote for me, you're voting for a guy focused on one thing, getting elected, and not on other stuff.

I know Lisa doesn't like me talking about this stuff, half of it I go too far, and the other
half he is just tired of hearing, but these are important things for us Americans (by the way
I was totally born here, unlike you know who) to know about the man who is gonna be president.

Shutdown

One of the things you hear about from time to time are worries about a government shutdown. The Congress and the president always seem to find a way to avoid it. And, those ways always involve increasing the debt.
I got an idea. Let the government shut down.
No, I’m serious.
You see, the government doesn’t really shut down. All but essential services are stopped.
Think about that. Let that sink in.
Essential government services continue.
And that’s the clue to the entire problem: the government is performing non-essential services.
I’ve actually had this discussion with people. When I mention that the government shouldn’t be performing non-essential services, they counter with “Oh, but people are dependent on those services!”
Really. They’re justifying non-essential services by citing people that are so screwed up they can’t survive without them. But here’s the thing: they can. The services are non-essential. That means — and this is the part that so many people don’t seem to grasp — the services are not essential.
Oh, sure, there’ll be problems. But there will be problems anyway. The question is, when is the best time to deal with them: now, while they’re huge. Or later, when they’re even more huge.
Like Sarah Connor said, there’s a storm coming.
Stock up.

With a Smile on Your Face or Not at All

My philosophy is that anything beyond your daily bread is a luxury, and from that perspective we live a very rich and luxurious life here in the United States of America. Nothing guarantees that will continue, though, and no one owes it to us. I say this not because I think we will suffer great loss, but we often get so caught up in thinking of what we can lose that we don’t appreciate all the blessing we have. It is very easy to be a miserable billionaire. But that shouldn’t be us. We have so many luxuries, so many opportunities in this country, that we should always have a smile on our faces. If we keep perspective. And we need to hold tightest onto the things that can never be taken away from us: Our principles.
Anyway, the election… it was disappointing. But one of the great foolishnesses the left believes is that the right needs to avoid is that you change the country at the ballot box. They think they can elect the right people and they’ll drag everyone to their view. That was the attempt with Obamacare and other left-wing ideas forced on the country. We have to be smarter than that. This is a country where the government serves the people — not where it molds them. To affect change in government, we as a people must change first.
So how do we change the country? We have to forget about politics, because politics is small and insignificant and America needs to be a place of big ideas and grander things. One of the defining characteristics of a conservative is that we have many many things in our lives much more important than politics. Family. Careers. Religion. Politics is but a bump in the road compared to those things.
So if we want a better government, we need to be a better people. And you don’t get to be a better people focusing on tiny things like politics. Instead, we need to build people on the important things and the politics will come naturally. I think a good example is Dave Ramsey. He’s on crusade to get individual out of debt and relying on themselves and their own finances for retirement. He doesn’t talk politics, but when someone has learned to rely on themselves and not government, do you think they’re going to vote for people asking to confiscate their wealth for empty promises of false security? As I’ve said, give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll stop voting Democrat.
We can’t be people who think conservatism is just a neat political idea; we have to be people who feel liberty is the true security down to the bone. And we have to build up others around us to feel that to. The culture is the battlefield, and actions speak much louder than any media can. That is where we must focus. If we want a better government, we all must be better people.
It won’t be an easy journey. It’s not like we lost our way just recently. It started in the beginning of last century when the federal government began to guarantee people’s individual security, i.e., making sweet promises it’s too inept to keep. How do we get away from that mentality? Who knows. It would be unprecedented, which is why I’ve always thought “classical liberal” is a better label for us than “conservative.” We’re supporting radical ideas of liberty that have never been achieved before. And they’re still scary to many people. Which is why we need to be a stronger people. Independent people who all truly believe they can best take care of themselves. And only then can we work together to achieve greatness like this world has never known.
So that’s what we’re working for. And if you can’t do it with a smile on your face, then I recommend giving up worrying about politics altogether as it is not worth the aggravation. We have to continue forward with hope — not hope in some government or idiot bureaucrats, but hope in each other and our abilities.
So, in summary, I don’t do being all dour and sad. Many have worked hard and even died to give us all the opportunities and luxuries we have now. Let’s take advantage of them and not be a bunch of whiny sissies about all this.

Doomed Beyond All Hope of Redemption

The American people -- or, at the very least, a sufficient plurality of them -- decided that they want another four years of clumsy policy failures and vengeful "progressivism," as Democrats nowadays describe their agenda for wrecking what remains of our constitutional republic. Even before the unmitigated political disaster of November 6, 2012, a date that will live in infamy, the prospects of salvaging the United States were not particularly hopeful. Now, however, we are permanently and irretrievably screwed.
Let's not mince words, eh? It was one thing, obviously, for the electorate to choose Barack Obama in 2008, when Bush-era "brand damage" was still a fresh irritant in the wounds of a war-weary nation. Four years ago, Obama was untested and enshrouded in the glowing mantle of Hope. No intelligent person could possibly believe that "Lightworker" crap anymore, but then again, it's been a long time since any intelligent person believed anything a Democrat said. The cretins and dimwits have become an effective governing majority, and the question for conservatives at this point is perhaps not, "What does it mean?" but rather, "Why should we bother ourselves resisting it any longer?"
Alas, as always, the duty of the Right is to manfully endure, to survive the defeat and stubbornly oppose the vaunting foe, and so this brutal shock, this electoral catastrophe, must be absorbed and digested. At some point next week or next month or next year, then, we shall recover our morale and plot some new stratagem for the future. In the immediate aftermath of Tuesday's debacle, however, it is difficult to see any glimmer of light amid the encroaching gloom. Surely, there are many Americans who now sympathize with that New York infantryman who, in the bleak winter of 1862, when the Union's Army of the Potomac was under the incompetent command of Gen. Ambrose Burnside, wrote home in forlorn complaint: "Mother, do not wonder that my loyalty is growing weak.… I am sick and tired of the disaster and the fools that bring disaster upon us."
The search for scapegoats always attends political defeat, and Republicans have no shortage of candidates for the role, beginning with Todd Akin, whose ill-considered remarks about "legitimate rape" during an August interview set off a nationwide demand that he quit as the GOP nominee against Sen. Claire McCaskill in Missouri. Akin went down to ignominious defeat Tuesday, as did Indiana's Richard Mourdock, who upset Republican Sen. Richard Lugar in the primary but then imploded after making Akin-esque comments about rape and abortion. Perhaps pro-life groups should sponsor a training session for political candidates, teaching them how to answer "gotcha" questions without either ceding anything to the abortion lobby or offending voters with off-the-cuff comments about rape. But Akin and Mourdock were just two names on a long list of bloodbaths for GOP Senate candidates, a massacre that also defeated Republican candidates in Virginia, Florida, Ohio, Wisconsin, Maine, Massachusetts and elsewhere.
The list of fools who have brought this disaster upon us certainly also will include New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, the gelatinous clown who (a) hogged up a prime time spot at the Republican convention to sing his own praises; (b) embraced Obama as the hero of Hurricane Sandy; and (c) then refused to appear at campaign events in support of Romney's presidential campaign. Good luck with the remainder of your political future, governor. It is unlikely Republicans shall soon forget your perfidious betrayal.
Well, then, what shall we say of Mitt Romney himself? He did not run a bad campaign. He excited the party's conservative base with his choice of Rep. Paul Ryan as his running mate, and Romney's stunning victory in the first presidential debate Oct. 3 ignited a surge of momentum that seemed destined to carry him all the way to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. I fondly recall the night after the debate when, in Fisherville, Virginia, a crowd twice the size of the town turned out to cheer Romney and Ryan at a jubilant rally. A few minutes before 1 a.m. this morning, the TV networks called Obama the winner in Virginia, a result that seemed impossible a month ago. The margin of Romney's defeat in Virginia -- as in the other major battleground states of Florida and Ohio -- was quite slender, but it was a defeat nonetheless.
Romney's campaign staff furiously challenged the fact of their defeat, so that the loser's concession speech was postponed until the wee hours of the morning. One can scarcely blame them for refusing to admit such a grim reality, but the reality could not be escaped. When Romney finally took the stage in Boston, he graciously said, "I pray that the president will be successful in guiding our nation." Prayers notwithstanding, the only success the current president is likely to have is in guiding our nation straight toward a destination that proverbially waits at the end of a road paved with good intentions.
What is left to hope for? That the American people will soon regret their choice? That another four years of economic stagnation and escalating debt will cure them of their insane appetite for charismatic liberals? If four years of endless failure have not rid them of this madness, the disease may well be terminal. Perhaps others will still see some cause for hope, and in another few weeks my friends may persuade me to see it, too. But today I will hear no such talk, and I doubt I'll be in a better mood tomorrow. At the moment, I am convinced America is doomed beyond all hope of redemption, and any talk of the future fills me with dread and horror.

Fun Facts About the 50 States: Montana

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.
This week, we’ll be finding out what it’s like to live 200 miles from your nearest neighbor as we visit Montana, so let’s get started…
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The state flag of Montana features the motto “oro y plata”, which is Spanish for “cream-filled chocolate sandwich cookies on a plate”

* Montana became the 41st state on November 8th, 1889. It was originally settled by a herd of moose who eventually lost the territory to white settlers in a poker game.
* Seems that moose always twitch their antlers when they’re bluffing.
* The first large-scale vigilante force was formed to police the lawless Montana Territory in 1884. More enthusiastic than legally savvy, they would frequently hang wandering cattle for rustling themselves.
* Montana’s nickname is “The Nervous Sheep State”.
* It was legal to drink while driving in Montana until October 1, 2005, when the Kennedy Prevention Act was finally passed.
* The Bitterroot is the state flower of Montana. The root is so bitter that eating it is actually forbidden by law, lest the person eating it turn into a Democrat.
* After years of Montana having no speed limit on its highways, it was finally set at 65mph in 1999, effectively killing the state’s antelope drag-racing industry.
* In Butte, Montana, it’s legal to shoot anyone who deliberately mispronounces the city’s name and giggles.
* Montana is believed to have the largest grizzly bear population in the US, although the number may include some of the local women who were counted by mistake.
* The state song of Montana is “What’s That Bear Doing In The Woods?”
* Montana gets its name from the Spanish word for “moose chalupa”.
* The state tree of Montana is the Ponderosa Pine, which has a much better salad bar than the Bonanza Pine.
* The state bird of Montana is the Meadowlark, which terrorizes the skies above the state’s human residents much as their prehistoric pterodactyl ancestors did.
* The Montana Yogo Sapphire is the only North American gem included in the Crown Jewels of England, except for the Texas Yee Haw Diamond.
* In 1888, Helena, Montana, had more millionaires per capita than any other city in the world. In 1889, God sent a plague of elk to devour them all for their sinful ways.
* The population density of Montana is 6 people per square mile. About the same as a Dixie Chicks concert.
* The first bobsled track in North America was built at Lolo Pass, Montana in 1965 in the hopes that it would enable the American Olympic team to finally defeat those feisty Jamaicans.
* Combination, Comet, Keystone, and Pony are some of the quaintly-named Montana ghost towns from which the Brady Bunch have successfully escaped.
* Virginia City, Montana was founded in 1863 and has remained completely unchanged for the last 100 years, much like the Democratic Party.
* The highest point in Montana is Granite Peak, which stands 12,799 feet tall, give or take a mountain goat.
* The world’s largest glacier is in Montana’s Glacier National Park, where it has been carefully preserved inside the world’s largest glass of Scotch.
* Glacier National Park also boasts the world’s most elaborate security system, which was specifically designed to keep Ted Kennedy out.
* The mountains of Montana have yielded a treasure trove of prehistoric artifacts over the years, including dinosaur eggs, and a speech by Howard Dean from his sane period.
* The Battle of Little Bighorn National Monument is located just south of Billings, Montana, and marks the spot where General Custer and his men were slaughtered by Plains Indians for not tipping their waitresses at the casino.
* The “Going to the Sun Road” in Glacier Park, Montana, is considered one of the most scenic drives in America, second only to New Jersey’s “Toxic Waste Trail”.
* In Montana, the elk, deer, and antelope populations outnumber the humans, but they are not allowed to vote because of Apartheid.
* To this day, Nelson Mandelka remains a political prisoner in Billings.
* The Roe River near Great Falls, Montana, is the world’s shortest river. At 58 feet, it’s 10 feet shorter than the drool-trail left typically left by Michael Moore while entering a McDonald’s.
* Motorcycle daredevil Evel Knievel was born in Butte, Montana. Despite his many legendary stunts, he never did manage to make it across Springfield Gorge on his skateboard.
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That wraps up the Montana edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we’ll likely be murdered by feral Corn-Children as we visit Nebraska.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to get a Moose Chalupa.

Fun Facts About the 50 States: Missouri

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.
This week, it’s time throw empty Bud cans at those pathetic Royals, because we’re headed to Missouri, so let’s get started…
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The state flag of Missouri originally only featured two bears on it. A third, smaller bear was later added to make the flag “juuuuuust right”.

* Missouri became the 24th state on August 10th, 1821. It was originally admitted to the Union as a “slave” state, but eventually exchanged slavery for the slightly-less-evil institution of Country music.
* The state bird of Missouri is the Bluebird, which – unlike its cousin, the Swallow – CAN fly while grasping a coconut by the husk.
* Missouri has the second best educational system in the U.S. It WOULD be first, but for the fact that they fail to teach their kids that there’s no “r” in “wash”.
* Missouri was named after the Missouri Indian tribe, whose name means “seriously, there’s no ‘ah’ at the end… idiots…”
* Missouri’s nickname is “The Pronouncing Invisible Letters State”.
* Missouri’s license plates contain the motto “Show Me”. They should not be confused with Louisiana’s license plates, which say “Show Me Your Boobs”.
* Baseball coach Yogi Berra was born in St. Louis, Missouri, and is famous for his quaint, mixed-metaphor sayings, like “It ain’t over till the clip’s empty”.
* The state insect of Missouri is the honeybee, which is usually served deep-fried and sprinkled on waffles.
* The crinoid became Missouri’s state fossil after a group of students at Lee’s Summit high school conducted an experiment to see how much is costs to bribe a state legislature.
* Ten thousand dollars, a case of whiskey, and a dozen hookers, if you’re curious.
* The capitol building in Jefferson City, Missouri burned to the ground in 1911 after being struck by lightning during an attempt to make a DeLorean travel through time.
* Kansas City, Missouri, has more miles of boulevards than Paris, but fewer German armies have marched down them.
* The Gateway Arch is located in St. Louis, Missouri, and was originally the symbol for the now-defunct NcDonald’s restaurant chain.
* Aunt Jemima Pancake Flour was invented in St. Joseph, Missouri, and was the first commercially successful self-rising flour. It was later followed by the less-well-received “Uncle Tom Cake Mix”.
* Springfield, Missouri, was founded by a group of tourists who got lost on the way to Branson.
* Carthage, Missouri, is home to the Precious Moments Chapel, a museum filled with adorable porcelain bisque figurines of big-eyed children, featuring such titles as “Mommy’s Been Drinking Again” and “Please, Daddy, Not The Belt!”
* Weldon Springs, Missouri, is the site of the Nuclear Waste Adventure Trail and Museum. While there, be sure to try the Paint Chip Nachos.
* The “Elvis is Alive Museum” can be found in Wright City, Missouri. It’s conveniently located between the “Al Gore Won” and “Michael Moore Would Recognize Truth If It Jumped Up And Bit Him In the Ass” Museums.
* Black inventor George Washington Carver was born in Diamond Grove, Missouri, and is proof that black people used to be able to become famous for something other than sports and political activism.
* President Harry S Truman was born in Lamar, Missouri. The “S” stands for “so let’s nuke the Japs”.
* Rush Limbaugh was born in Cape Girardeau, Missouri, where he got his start in radio by beating up liberal talk show hosts and stealing their lunch money.
* Author Mark Twain was born in Florida, Missouri, where the rumors of his death are no longer greatly exaggerated.
* Outlaw Jesse James was born in Centerville, Missouri, and was known as “the most dangerous man in America”. At least until Rush Limbaugh got his first radio job.
* Iced tea was invented at the St. Louis World’s Fair in 1904 as a method of frightening away the stuffy and annoying British tourists.
* Seriously… what’s the point of hot tea, anyway? It’s like drinking boiled Kool-Aid.
* The ice cream cone was also invented at the 1904 World’s Fair, after an ice cream vendor discovered that all of his paper cups had been destroyed by a mysterious fire.
* Probably of British origin.
* Anheuser-Busch of St. Louis, Missouri, is the world’s largest brewery. In 1872, they patented their secret formula for “Alco-swill”, which was later re-named “Budweiser” for marketing reasons.
* Robert Wadlow – who was the world’s tallest man at 8 feet 11 inches – was born in St. Louis, Missouri. His “Where’s Wadlow” line of children’s books was a dismal failure.
* “Wild Kingdom” host Marlin Perkins was born in Carthage, Missouri. He gained fame documenting his travels around the world as he searched for new and exotic toppings for Imo’s Pizza.
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That wraps up the Missouri edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we’ll be redlining down 7,000 miles of copless interstates as we tour Montana.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go grab me a can of Alco-swill.
Hey… it’s after 5pm somewhere…