10 of the Lots of Things on Obama’s Plate

Asked why Obama’s hasn’t met with his Job Council for 6 months, Jay Carney said “there’s no specific reason except that the president’s obviously got a lot on his plate.”
[INSERT DOG-EATING JOKE HERE]
So, what else has been presidential platter-plugging since January?:
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Polishing his “Osama the Dead Terrorist” ventriloquist act.

1) Congratulatory slut-calls.
2) Working up an attack strategy for that tricky par 3 4th hole at Andrews.
3) Shuffling through mountains of potential names for the cradle-to-grave welfare-woman cartoon poster-child.
4) Up until late June, it was nothing but wait for the SCOTUS call on Obamacare, bite nails, bleed, bandage, repeat.
5) Researching whether there was a snootier-sounding way to pronounce “POCK-e-ston” (there isn’t).
6) Figuring out who his son would’ve looked like. Also, how he would’ve felt about Skittles.
7) Taking Russian yoga class for increased post-election flexibility
8) Finding excuses to sneak out of the White House without Michelle so he can get a meal that doesn’t include those deadly poisonous Toxic Avenger veggies from the White House garden.
9) Working on plan to come out as 1/32 Cherokee. Still looking for plagiarized recipes he can use as evidence. Also, having a devil of a time arranging surgery for cheekbone implants.
10) Busy creating shovel ready jobs, aka shallow graves for Fast & Furious documents.
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Of course, lately he mostly spends his time doodling tophats & monocles on pictures of Mitt Romney.