Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.
This week, we’ll be crushed to discover that there’s no such thing as a Mr. Potato Head Land theme park as we visit Idaho, so let’s get started…
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* Gutzon Borglum, the sculptor of Mount Rushmore, was born in Bear Lake, Idaho. He did his famous work in South Dakota after ruining every mountain in Idaho trying to get Washington’s nose just right.
* Idaho has only one radio station, but since all the surrounding mountains ruin the reception, it has only a handful of listeners. Although this may also be because it carries NPR.
* Idaho is America’s largest lumber producer and the only state in the US with a National Forest consisting entirely of stumps.
* The word “Idaho” comes from the Crow Indian word, “E-dah-how”, meaning “Is there ANY month when it doesn’t snow around here?”
* The tourism motto of Idaho is “Cold and boring like Canada, except with more gun-crazed right-wing militias”.
* The state tree of Idaho is the stump.
* Because of the long distances between cities in Idaho, most trucks carry an emergency Hyundai in the glove compartment.
* If your Hyundai doesn’t work and you become stranded in Idaho, it’s traditional to wait three hours before resorting to cannibalism.
* Idaho is home to numerous private militias, which, like their revolutionary forefathers, have orders to shoot anyone wearing a red coat.
* Idaho state law requires all registered Democrats to wear a red coat to the polls on election day.
* Hell’s Canyon in Idaho is 7900 feet deep, which makes it both deeper than the Grand Canyon AND a great place to throw registered Democrats after election day.
* Although normally a peaceful city, Boise, Idaho occasionally erupts with violent gunfights between rival gangs of skiers and snowboarders.
* The state bird of Idaho is the Bluebird, a shameful choice which clearly discriminates against the colorblind.
* Elk River, Idaho is home to the state’s largest tree. At nearly 200 feet tall, it’s estimated that this single tree contains enough wood to build a chair capable of supporting Michael Moore.
* In Idaho, it’s illegal to give someone a box of candy weighing more than 50 pounds, which is why Rosie O’Donnell will never play the Boise Improv.
* Well, that, and she’d end up in Hell’s Canyon after election day.
* Idaho is home to North America’s largest sand dune. It’s 470 feet tall, and is visited annually by over 1 million stray cats looking for a place to pee.
* Appaloosa horses originated in Idaho and were first bred by the local Indians as a war animal. Today, this hearty breed is still highly prized for its thick armor plating.
* The largest diamond ever found in the US was a 20-carat stone discovered in McCall, Idaho, which then changed its name to Bling City.
* Being a large but sparsely populated state, land is incredibly cheap in Idaho. However, due to high transportation costs for lumber, you can’t afford to build a house on your property unless you make it out of potatoes.
* The first nuclear power plant in the US was built in Arco, Idaho in 1953, but was destroyed in 1955 by giant mutant sheep.
* Arco is now known as the “Radioactive sweater capital of the world”.
* The firefighting ax was invented in Wallace, Idaho after giant mutant sheep drank the town’s entire water supply.
* Beaver Canyon, near the city of Spencer, Idaho, is rumored to be the site of a huge fortune in buried treasure. No one has found it yet because they’re too busy giggling at the canyon’s name to search for it.
* In 1925, the entire city of American Falls, Idaho was moved to make way for the American Falls Dam. The dam itself was recently moved to make way for a Wal-Mart.
* Thanks for the Kelo decision, Supreme Court!
* Jackasses.
* Television was invented in Rigby, Idaho, which may explain the city’s frighteningly low scores on standardized tests.
* In 1896, Butch Cassidy robbed the bank in Montpelier, Idaho, after being screwed out of his free tote bag when he opened a checking account there.
* Idaho law forbids children from deliberately stepping on ants. The kids don’t mind too much, however, since pistol-whipping them is still legal.
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That wraps up the Idaho edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we’re off to the Land of Lincoln for a look at Illinois.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go pistol-whip some ants.
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