Thursday, December 20, 2012

Should’ve built a B-Ark

Just in case you hadn’t heard, the world is ending tomorrow.
No, really. I read it on the Internet somewhere, so it’s true. And, so have a lot of other people, it seems.
NASA is getting a bunch of calls from people who want to know about the world ending. It’s taking up so much of NASA’s time that they can’t go about their primary mission of Muslim outreach. Well, that, and not being able to send people into space anymore.
NASA has even made a movie to help stop the calls. It’s titled “Why the world didn’t end yesterday” and is supposed to be shown on Saturday. Which really doesn’t stop the calls leading up to Friday. Maybe that backwards line of thinking is why they can’t go into space. Of course, it should help with Muslim outreach. At least, with Muslims in other countries. The ones in this country kinda shake their head at other countries, too.
Anyway, NASA is answering the phone and telling people that it’s all okay and the world won’t end. I think that’s a mistake. They should tell them that the world is going to end.
Caller: “Hello, NASA? I saw that the world will end Friday. Is that right?”
NASA: “Yes, ma’am, that’s correct. We’re doomed. That’s why we’re not sending people into space anymore. There’s no reason. We’re just sitting back, waiting for the world to end. Have a nice day.”
Or
Caller: “Hey, what’s the truth about the Mayan apocalypse?
NASA: “Yes, sir. The planets are all going to line up with the stars and that will cause the earth to capsize just like Guam did. A lot of people will fall off. The lucky ones will land on Mars or the moon, but most of us will just fall away into space. Thank you for calling.”
See what fun that could be? All the stupid people will panic and, oh, I don’t know, do something stupid, but if we all just kinda let them, we’ll weed out all the idiots, and the rest of us will be able to make a go of things.
If only the Mayans had predicted this would happen before the November election.

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