Why I hate Walmart

Okay, I understand. Walmart is great. It’s wonderful. It’s awesome.
Now, will that shut you Wal-bots up for a second?
Not everybody likes Walmart. I’m not part of the left-wing “Oh Walmart is a big company and therefore evil” group. In fact, the fact that the left hates Walmart kinda makes me on Walmart’s side.
The thing I don’t like about Walmart is … well, how much time you got?
Tell you what. Let’s just focus on my latest encounter with Mr. Yellow Happy Face Discounter.
A couple of weeks ago, on June 15 to be exact, I decided that I wanted to move a computer from the living room, where it was supposed to be serving as a media server (I never used it as such, though), into the bedroom, where it could be a desktop computer. Only, I needed a desk.
I didn’t want to spend a lot. Just something simple to stick in the corner and hold my desktop computer. So, I went online and found that one of the Walmart stores in Columbus had a sub-$50 desk in stock.
“Okay, Self,” I said to myself, “I can go ahead and order it and pay for it online, then pick it up later. It’ll be there waiting on me.”
“Brilliant plan, Self,” I then said to myself.
So, I did. At least, I did the first two things: I ordered it and paid for it online.
After a couple of hours, I decided to meet someone for lunch, called her, and we met at a restaurant near that Walmart. But then, Walmart decided to be Walmart.
As I approached the restaurant, at 12:57 PM, I got a text from Walmart. Turns out the desk wasn’t in stock.
Great. There’s more than one Walmart around, so after lunch I’d run to another one and see if they have it. Totally not what I had planned to do, but hey, I’ve had worse days, right?
After lunch, I went to several Walmarts and, sure enough, found one in stock, bought it, took it home, and put it together.
As soon as I had finished and set the computer up, I opened email and read the email they sent along with the text. They didn’t cancel the order. No, they were gonna ship another one from the warehouse. Not point me to a nearby Walmart with the desk in stock. No, they’d have a desk for me in 3-6 days to pick up.
So, I went online to cancel the order. There was no “cancel” option. I wrote them. They told me that it was too late to cancel, and that the desk was coming, come hell or high water. They didn’t exactly say it like that, but that’s what it meant.
Two days later, I got notice the desk I didn’t want had shipped. Two days after that, I was notified that it was ready for me to pick up. And, they warned me:

Any items that are not picked up by the date specified above (July 3) will be cancelled and a refund made to your original method of payment.

Which is what I wanted to start with.
So, it’s still sitting at the Walmart, taking up space, awaiting me to pick it up. And, tomorrow, when I don’t pick it up, they’ll return it, and eventually give me my money back.
That’ll teach me to buy from Walmart.
No, really.