Thursday, October 4, 2012

The Red Debate

They’re still hosing down the stage, washing all the blood off of it. I don’t know if you watched the debate last night, but it was horrific. For two hours, we watched a rich, privileged white man savagely beat and humiliate a black man as an audience of millions cheered on. It’s hard even to contemplate. Afterwards, the faces of the MSNBC anchors were covered in tears and snot as their words were barely understandable through through their weeping. “It was… a… a… tie,” Maddow muttered, barely audible. Chris Matthews just let out a loud cry reminiscent of Chewbacca in The Empire Strikes Back when the Hoth base closed the door on Han Solo. He had lost all feeling in his leg. And I can’t shake from my mind the image of Romney after the debate, completely covered in the blood of his vanquished foe such that the only thing on him that wasn’t crimson was his wide, crazed eyes and the white teeth from his hideous smile.
Who am I kidding… THAT WAS AWESOME!!!
I mean. Wow. What a catharsis. We’ve been waiting forever for someone to smack that little arrogant twerp Obama around. And who can we thank for that lovely massacre? The MSM, for keeping Obama so sheltered he had no idea how to defend his horrible record. That debate was like a hamster versus a blender. It was glorious.
And what’s next? Paul Ryan versus Joe “the middle class is buried!” Biden. This is almost mean now. I hope you love schadenfreude, because it is being served up in huge helpings.
Oh, Romney, I’m sorry I doubted you. You may have squishy principles, but your desire to be president is made of steel — steel you use to pound your enemies to goo.

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