Transcript of White House Meeting on 9/11/2012

Transcript from conversation in the Oval Office on September 11th, 2012:

AIDE: There has been an attack on a consulate in Benghazi.
OBAMA: Where’s that?
AIDE: In Libya.
OBAMA: Where’s that?
AIDE: The Middle East.
OBAMA: Where’s that?
AIDE: To the east… but the center of stuff to the east.
OBAMA: I understand. So what happened?
AIDE: Well four Americans were killed, including an Ambassador.
OBAMA: Eh. Doesn’t that happen all the time?
AIDE: Actually, no, sir, this is not a common occurrence. This is a very important and horrible incident.
OBAMA: It doesn’t seem important. I mean, I got fundraisers and stuff to prepare for. I don’t see why you’re bothering me with this. Hey, Biden, do you think this is important?
BIDEN: Me want cookie!
OBAMA: Biden doesn’t think it’s important. Probably just Muslims getting angry at some silly thing. They get angry at stuff all the time. Like cartoons, TV shows, and drone strikes. Silly Muslims.
AIDE: Actually, sir, we already have information telling us– Uh… why is Biden laughing.
OBAMA: He just does that. Ignore him.
AIDE: As I was saying, we have information that this was a planned terrorist attack by an al Qaeda-affiliated group.
OBAMA: Al Qaeda? That’s ridiculous. I killed bin Laden. You saw me kill him.
AIDE: Actually, it was a SEAL te–
OBAMA: I killed bin Laden. He dead. No more al Qaeda. Isn’t that right, Biden?
BIDEN: Where my shoe?
OBAMA: Biden agrees with me. There is no al Qaeda because I killed bin Laden and am a good and smart president. Obviously this attack was just Muslims getting angry at some YouTube video or something. We’ll announce that and vow to bring the maker of the YouTube video to justice. Don’t you agree, Biden?
BIDEN: Shoe on head!
OBAMA: Biden is a foreign policy expert and he agrees. This is smart. I am smart president. Tell me I’m smart!
AIDE: You’re very smart.
OBAMA: That’s right.