Monday, June 17, 2013

More inappropriate questions the IRS asked groups they did not like.

1, Explain the purpose of your group and what you hope to accomplish with half the citizenry and the entire weight of the government against you.
2. We think you should change the name of your group from “The West Sitzfield Tea Party Patriot Group” to “The Ignorant Knuckle-dragging Gun-clinging Bible-thumping Tea-baggers of West Sitzfield.” Okay with you?
3. Describe the prayers your group engages in and the sacrifices you intend to make.
4. Do you have any friends in Congress we should know about?
5. Why does your organization hate America?
6. Solve for x:
6x-7 + 3x-5 = 5x + 78
4         7           28
7. Name all the signers of the Declaration of Independence and their shoe sizes.
8. Who put the bomp (in the bomp bomp bomp)?
9. Submit all medical receipts for the last 10 years (the IRS will be taking over your medical care shortly).
10. What is the average airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? Show all work.
11. What does your organization plan to do to raise money? Because bake sales are right out. (Executive Order re: Office of the First Lady)
12. To which Higher Power will your group’s prayers be directed? 
___ the state  
___ Mammon  
___some lesser being
13. What is that which in the morning goeth upon four feet; upon two feet in the afternoon; and in the Evening upon three?
14. Watch the Star Trek and Gilligan’s Island parodies made by our staff with $60,000 of taxpayer money. What did you think?
___Great
___Excellent
___Superb
___Worth every penny
___I do not wish to get my group’s tax status approved in this lifetime
15. Provide a complete list of your donors, their middle names, their pets, and an inventory of their guns and sharp objects.
16. Why does your organization hate the president? Are they racists?
17. Do you like gladiator movies?
18. Who wrote the book of love?
19. What do you intend to do with all the money you raise? Submit receipts for all purchases in advance of your making them.
20. What have I got in my pocket?
21. Where oh where has my little dog gone?
22. How does your organization intend to meet? Church basement socials? That’s so lame.
23. Wouldn’t your oxygen be better used by someone more committed to the same values as the IRS?
24. Describe the violence your group intends to commit.
25. What are you wearing?
26. If this blows up in our faces, you will remember that it’s all Cincinnati’s fault, right?

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