We Are All Berliners Now

Thankfully, Obama has left the country for a while and visited Berlin.  Here are some tidbits about his trip to Germany that I bet you haven’t read in the mainstream media.  You can thank my man in State for these, as usual.

• Obama began his speech by claiming to be a jelly donut.  He was speaking English.
• He kept referring to himself as the First Black Fuhrer.
• He apologized to Germany for America’s role in causing WWI and WWII.
• He boldly stood up and suggested that Mr. Putin rebuild that wall. 
• He asked Angela Merkel if she would give him a quick peak behind her iron curtain.
• He tried to defect to East Germany, but was unable to since he couldn’t locate it with his GPS.
• As an act of goodwill, he promised the German people that America would return the ark to them.
• As he was approaching the podium, he had the band play, “Springtime for Hitler.” 
• While visiting the death camps, he asked the tour guides for schematics and design specifics, ‘just in case.’
• Everywhere he went, he kept dropping little handwritten notes that said, “The Jews really are controlling me.  Help.”
• Also whenever he visited the death camps, he kept making the same old inappropriate comment: “I always like to look for the good in any situation.  I bet somewhere in all those mass graves there was a necrophiliac playing dead and just having the time of his life.”