New Talking Points on Obamacare

So Obama is planning a PR push for the disastrous Obamacare. This will have to be delicate, but here are the talking points the White House is working on to help fix things.
NEW TALKING POINTS ON OBAMACARE
* You can’t really blame Obama for Obamacare because was drinking with Rob Ford when it was signed and doesn’t really remember it.
* Programming is really complicated as it involves not just the numbers 0 through 9, but also the letters A through F. No one can be expected to understand that.
* Obama can’t be blamed for bad management because it was all the people under him who were the bad managers.
* It’s easy to understand how Obamacare will lead to reduced costs unless you’re one of those sticklers who keeps referring to numbers and their meanings.
* Though Obama may have lied the first couple times he said, “If you like your plan, you can keep it,” he convinced himself by repeating it so many times that by the end he really believed it and wasn’t lying.
* The website basically works now, but please take our word for it and don’t visit it or all that traffic will just crash it again.
* Though HealthCare.gov is still a little buggy, the mechanism for fining people who don’t buy insurance looks to be working perfectly.
* Though millions are losing their insurance and paying more, theoretically there is someone out there happy with Obamacare… probably a psychopath who will make good use of the mental health coverage.
* This is all the Republicans faults, because reasons.